Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He felt like a one man threesome
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My vagina is officially offended.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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