Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize