SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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