nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
