waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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