well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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