i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
