what day is it and did you see me today?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
