His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
