i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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