Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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