woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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