I look better un-naked...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
