it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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