Just fell off a train. Bad.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
