WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
whose ass print is on the piano?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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