I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
The beer is more important than you right now.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
