Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
