there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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