i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
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