I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
