Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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