I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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