walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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