my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
