it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.