But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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