She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
