my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
