??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
