I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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