i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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