I got chris browned last night
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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