am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I am available for nakedness
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
