is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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