i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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