As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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