Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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