I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
