omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
