Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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