The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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