I wannas sexs uuuuu
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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