dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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