Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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