So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
