we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize