I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
