Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
