Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize