sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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