I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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