how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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