you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
