i don't like sucking hair
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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