you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I want to be your penis for a week.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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