i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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