Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize