Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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