i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
