So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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